Your browser version is outdated. We recommend that you update your browser to the latest version.

Reaching Out!

Sometimes it's not easy to reach out to someone for help. Yet the sooner you do the better you feel!

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Albert Einstein

                               ❖  ❖ 

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” Albert Einstein
                               ❖  ❖ 

Let's Talk

Dr. Darlene DeStefano, PhD


Feeling Disconnected From Organized Religion

Posted 5/8/2016

Dear Darlene,

I have been introduced to a new way of thinking about God. It has been many years since I have gone to church. I just don’t believe in organized religion anymore and what they preach no longer feels right. I don’t believe there is a hell or the devil because 

I now believe we make our own hell and we can choose to be evil or do good. Yet, I believe in Jesus and consider my a Christian. But, with my new beliefs about what God is and is not, I am having difficulty trying to understand where Jesus fits in my life now. I feel good about my new awakening to spirituality but it has all become so confusing and I am becoming troubled about Jesus. I think I should still believe in Jesus, but because I believe differently about God, it doesn’t make sense somehow about Jesus. How do I address this to feel right? 

Signed, Feeling Disconnected


Dear Feeling Disconnected, 

First of all it might be that you are more connected to Christ than you realize. Your new direction in spirituality is one many have and are taking. Organized religion has been around for centuries and where fire and brimstone was often taught in order to control by instilling fear in the congregation, it doesn’t apply to all religions or all ministers. Some organized religions also have a new or different outlook on what God is. Certainly trying to identify where Jesus fits into your life now can be daunting but it doesn’t have to be. Belief in His teachings and trying to live by them every day is what matters. If you believe that Jesus was the son of God the question for you which you didn’t identify is “What are your new beliefs about what God is or is not?” I will attempt to help you to “see” or try to “make sense” of what I think you are asking. If your newly adopted spiritual belief is what many have and are moving to: God is all that is, God is everything, God is Love, God is Light, God is the air you breath, the ground you walk, the spirit of God is in each person you meet, then believe also that Jesus was the son of God just as you are the daughter or son of God, as we all are a particle of God.  

Jesus was a teacher, a healer, a prophet. He was an enlightened figure, whose purpose was to teach the people to live in righteousness, to love thyself and love one another, ‘to seek to reconcile mankind back to Himself’. 

Apart from The King James version of The Bible, there are two other books you might to read. The Shack by William P. Young, (fiction or true?), The Mystical Life of Jesus by Sylvia Browne (very thought provoking and can help you put Jesus in a new perspective with your new beliefs). These may help you as they have helped others.

The important issue here is you believe what is right for you, what resonates with you, deep within you. Everyone has their belief about this topic, and everyone should respect the opinion and beliefs of others, right or wrong in your eyes, agree to disagree, for this is truly loving thy neighbour and is what Jesus teachings are all about. 

Find what resonates with you the most. Over time our opinions and beliefs about many things change. Find YOUR Truth, Find What Works For YOU and Feel Connected Again! 

Live Well,

Darlene DeStefano, PhD, CPC, MMsc
Intuitive Counsellor
Life and Business Coach
Passionate Crusader for Meaningful Living & Health Relationships
Catalyst for Living Well


Have a question, comment, or need help with something to make your life better. Send Darlene an email, She will answer you in here column.